A COMPACT GLOSSARY OF COMMON MANGLISH WORDS & PHRASES

ai dontch-main - corruption of "I don't mind" - the extraneous syllable 'ch' indicates that the speaker is well aware of the subtleties of the English language and is making an effort to sound the 't' in "don't."

aisayman - contraction of "I say, man!" A totally meaningless utterance, most commonly used by those with absolutely nothing to say.

ai sked (lah) - confession of nervousness, as in "I'm scared, don't have the guts to do it."

ai so dono - expression of ignorance, probably imported from India, originally: "I also don't know" (polite variation of "Damned if I know!").

baiwanfriwan - ploy used mainly by Chinese shop assistants to promote sales: "If you buy one, you'll get one free!"

barsket - uncouth interjection; term of derision, often preceded by the prefix "bladi." Probably a mangled compound of "blasted," "bastard" and "bugger." An all-purpose expression of acute annoyance, as in "Goddamn" or "Blast it!"

beteyudon - mild warning, as in "You'd better not do that."

bladihel - exclamation conveying intense irritation; corruption of "bloody hell!"

chipsket - contraction of "cheapskate," somebody not known to be generous; also used to describe anything low-cost.

dai-lah - term of commiseration, usually mock, used in situations where an element of anxiety is present, e.g.,"Oh dear, now you've blown it!" or "Oh well, that's the end of that!" or "Shit! I'm in real trouble."

de-bladi-garmen - contraction of "the bloody government" - widely used scapegoat for all of life's disappointments, delays, denials, and prohibitions.

defler - contraction of "that fellow."(don) tokkok) - playful insult ("Don't talk rubbish!"); the etymology of tokkok is uncertain but it probably derives from "talk cock" (as in "cock and bull" stories).fler - personal and/or impersonal reference, originally a contraction of "fellow" but frequently applied in neuter gender, e.g., "You flers better wochaut!" ("Don't any of you try to be funny!")fraskes - noun applied to any individual caught in an unenviable impasse; someone whose case is frustrating; could also imply sexual deprivation.

gifchan (lah) - half-serious plea, as in "Give us a chance, will you?" Could also mean: "Please do us a favour."

hauken - another elastic expression applicable in almost any situation, e.g., "That's not right!" or "Impossible!" or "You don't say!"

ho-laif - adverb, meaning "perpetually" (contraction of "whole life").

husayso - "Says who?" or "Who says so?" (alternatively, hused). hutoyu - mild challenge, as in "Who told you?"

izit - expression of mild unbelief: "Is that so?"

izzenit - from "isn't it?" but applied very loosely at the end of any particular statement to elicit an immediate response, e.g., "Yused you will spen me a beer, izzenit?"

ke-no-not - request or enquiry, contraction of "Can you or can you not?"; also used as "May I?" or "Will you?" or "Is it possible?"

kenoso - affirmative, "can also"; in other words, "It's quite all right with me" (see osoken).

las-taim - denotes the past ("last time"), though not necessarily in any specific sense: e.g., "Las-taim we orways see filim but nowadays stay home and watch dividi oni."

osoken - "also can"; variant of kenoso; in other words, "Anything goes!" or "Fine by me!"

wan-kain (wan) - adjective denoting uniqueness, oddness, weirdness, extraordinariness; contraction of "one of a kind" (with "one" repeated for rhythmic symmetry); sometimes rendered as wan-kain oni (to emphasise the uniqueness).

watudu - rhetorical question ("Ah well, what can we do?" or "That's the way the cookie crumbles!")

wehyu-attash - polite question when introduced to a stranger ("Where are you attached?" or "What do you do for a living?")

yalah - noncommittal agreement, liberally used when confronted with a bore. A string of yalahs issuing from your hapless listener is a sure sign that he or she wishes to terminate the conversation as soon as possible.

yesah - general expression of interest, usually inserted as a polite question during conversations, as in "Oh, really?"yu-a-yu - term of friendly accusation, meaning "You're too much!"

yugifmisi - imperative denoting curiosity ("Let me have a look!")yusobadwan - mild reproach ("That's not very nice!")

Stress aku...

Stess, stress, stress...itulah perkataan yg sering kedengaran di mana2 jua. Bak kata Tok saidon, di Tesco ada, di Giant ada (apelah aku membebel ni, adakah aku pun stress jugak?). Marilah kita renung sama2 ceriter harinih, mestilah pasal stress.

Suatu hari sekumpulan bekas pelajar (alumnilah ni namanye) wat re-union (tp xde kene mengena ngan re-union uia-kusza ek) kat umah professor diorg. Sementelah dah lama terpisah, masing2 sibuk bercerita mengenai subjek2 ketika di kampus dahulu. Masing2 berlumba2 nak menceritakan mengenai hobi, keluarga dan kerjaya. Topik perbualan kemudian melarat kepada isu stress dan tekanan. Masing2 ghairah menceritakan betapa tertekan hidup mereka selepas masa belajar. Tiba2 sang pensyarah bangun dan menuju ke dapur. Para alumni terdiam, pada sangkaan mereka pasti sang prof berasa bosan dengan topik perbualan mereka.

Tak lama selepas itu, sang prof muncul kembali dengan membawa sebiji teko besar berisi kopi o kaw. Di tangannya juga terdapat pelbagai jenis cawan. Ada yang diperbuat daripada porcelain, melamin, kaca dan plastik, bahkan cawan kertas pun ada dibawakannya. Dia menyuruh pelajar2nya menuang air kopi masing2. Masing2 menuang dan memilih cawan mereka. Sayugia si pensyarah berkata, "Lihatlah anakku semua. Kalian memilih cawan yang paling cantik dan menarik pada pandanganmu. Bahkan aku lihat, kamu membanding2kannya sesama kamu sambil berkata bahawa cawan kawanmu lbh baik daripada yang ada di tangan sendiri. Sehingga aku lihat kamu terlupa akan enaknya air kopi itu."

"Begitulah ibaratnya dunia dan kehidupan ini. Kopi itu ibarat hidup manakala cawan hanyalah sebagai alat. Kita semua sibuk melihat pada cawan, pada kerjaya, pangkat, pengaruh, kuasa, wang dan keluarga. Sedangkan kita terlupa untuk menilai kopinya, tentang kemanisan dan kebahagiaan rasanya. Kehidupan tidak berubah, dunia yang berubah. Sekiranya kita terlalu memikirkan mengenai cawan, kita tak sempat merasai kopinya," syarah sang prof sama semasa mereka di kuliahnya.

Haa, begitulah cara menenangkan hati yg stress. Janganlah stress sgt beb, keje tetap keje, tp kena enjoy.